Hi, my lovely Readers!
Guess whatttt
I finally went back to Goodreads again. I actually downloaded the app this time, and it is so much less confusing. I already added some books on there; however, I want to finish my Reading Challenge, so any recommendations would be highly appreciated!
That will be all for today, my lovely Readers! Thanks for dropping by!!
mwah!π
It’s such a weird feeling knowing that my childhood, the only life I’ve known, is coming to an end. This time next year, I won’t be a high schooler anymore. I won’t be waking up at 6:30 in the morning to go to school and see my friends everyday. Although I will definitely not miss all the homework and stressful environment, I will miss the comfort in the familiar routine. This year I’m turning 18, then a year after 19, then 20, then 25, 28, 30, 35, 40. There are so many more life stages I have yet to experience, yet I don’t want to let this one go.
There are still so many things I want to experience as a teenage girl, but won’t get the chance to. I will have to transition into a whole different world and, of course, it’s exciting, but even more so, so daunting as I don’t feel ready.
I don’t feel prepared at all for adulthood, but maybe that is what makes growing up so beautiful. No one ever is ready to face the unknown. Life is unexpected and forces us into new experiences. Whether they are thrilling, weird, sad, happy, or awkward, we still always come out of it learning something new. So even though I am mourning the end of my childhood and the innocent freedom that comes with it, I also want to welcome the life lessons I will learn and the experiences that await me.
Guys, school starts next week for me :,)
I was already getting senioritis junior year so I don't know how this year will be....
Hey girlies!
Guess what?
I scored a 5 on my AP Psych Exam!!
Even though I was very confident, it still felt great to see my hard work pay off. Literally the first thing I did when I woke up this morning was to check if my scores got out. I swear my heart was pounding so hard against my chest due to the anticipation; I thought it was gonna explode out of my body.
I think this is the first time in a long time I am actually proud of myself.
But anyway, here's my score!
AHHHHHH, one of my friends' birthdays is coming up, and I am blanking on good birthday gifts. She's turning 17, and I want to give her something that's both meaningful and useful. She's athletic but also wants to start dressing up more, so I might give her some cute accessories. I also recently started learning to use our sewing machine, so maybe I can make her something? The only problem with this would be if I would have enough time to finish it. The easier option would be buying her gifts, but it would have to be on a high schooler budget.
Birthday Gift Ideas:
Handmade Gifts:
Non-negotiables:
A few nights ago, I was sitting on the edge of my window. It was 2 a.m., but I couldn't bring myself to go to sleep. It was a bit chilly, but I was more focused on all my negative thoughts and past self-hatred that was resurfacing. I didn't have the energy to push it down again, so I just sat in all these feelings while the chill air brushed past my exposed arms and into my room.
I thought I was finally moving forward, but in actuality I was only procrastinating the inevitable.
I thought that if I journaled more and went on walks and was productive, it would help me get past the overwhelming thoughts. That I would never be good enough - for anyone or myself.
So, every morning I woke up at 4-6 a.m. to do my perfectly curated morning routine made by the current trending influencers who promised it was going to work. I did my workouts, ate a healthy snack, journaled, and did my assignments, yet at the end of the day. I still felt like I did before. That was when I would go on my phone and scroll until I forgot, and the cycle would repeat.
I realized that everything I was doing didn't work because those were just actions for me. I didn't truly heal; it was just easier to live like that because it distracted me from experiencing my feelings and being uncomfortable.
I was also journaling nightly but not about the "right things". I needed to be vulnerable, if not to others, then at least to myself.
I had no problem being honest about the parts of myself I knew were liked, but refused to acknowledge my anxiety and negative thoughts because I couldn't stand being less than perfect. I've always had greater expectations for myself, and while it did pay off in some circumstances, I eventually burned out, and that was when everything fell apart. I realize now that no in perfect and I shouldn't be afraid to not be
